The Subtle Weight of Unwarranted Authority
It starts with a Slack message that isn’t a question, but a directive. You’re at your desk, the hum of the office air conditioning filling the silence, when a peer leans over your shoulder to 'check in' on a task they don’t actually oversee. There is a specific, sharp pinch of irritation that comes from dealing with colleagues acting like they are in charge when your contract clearly states otherwise.
This isn't just about a bossy personality; it's about the erosion of your professional sanctuary. When someone exercises unwarranted authority, they aren't just being helpful—they are subtly recalibrating the office power dynamics to place themselves at the apex. Understanding this shift is the first step toward reclaiming professional autonomy.
To move beyond the immediate sting of these interactions and into a place of strategic understanding, we have to look at the 'why' behind this behavior. Understanding the underlying psychological mechanics helps us respond with clarity rather than reactive anger.
The Psychology of the 'Pseudo-Manager'
Let’s look at the underlying pattern here. Often, dealing with colleagues acting like they are in charge is less about your performance and more about their internal chaos. In the world of lateral microaggressions, the 'Pseudo-Manager' uses control as a sedative for their own hierarchical anxiety. They believe that by managing you, they are securing their own status in a volatile environment.
This behavior is a classic example of social hierarchy climbing gone wrong. By treating you as a subordinate, they attempt to manifest a promotion through sheer social force. However, this creates a toxic feedback loop where your professional autonomy is sacrificed for their temporary peace of mind. Recognizing this isn't random—it's a cycle—allows you to detach emotionally from their 'commands.'
The Permission Slip: You have permission to ignore a command that wasn't issued by your commanding officer. You are not 'difficult' for maintaining the boundaries of your job description.Now that we’ve deconstructed the psychology, let’s pivot to the 'how'—turning that insight into professional maneuvers that restore the natural order of your team.
Politely Reclaiming Your Space
When dealing with colleagues acting like they are in charge, your most effective weapon is assertive communication in the office. You don't need a confrontation; you need a recalibration. If a peer assigns you a task, the move is to redirect the authority immediately. Try saying: 'I appreciate the heads-up on that, but I’m currently prioritizing the roadmap I set with our actual manager.'
Stopping overstepping coworkers requires a high-EQ script that reinforces your peer status without starting a war. Use 'If This, Then That' logic. If they persist, escalate the transparency: 'It sounds like you’re really invested in this project. Let’s bring [Manager's Name] into the loop to make sure our work streams aren't overlapping.' This subtly reminds them that they are not the final arbiter of your time.
While these scripts are vital for the external game, we must also address the internal cost. To truly protect your peace, you have to stop looking for their approval.
Don't Give Away Your Power
Here is the reality surgery: They didn't 'forget' you aren't their report. They are actively testing how much of your territory they can colonize. When you are dealing with colleagues acting like they are in charge and you say 'sure, no problem' just to keep the peace, you are effectively training them to treat you like an assistant.
Stop romanticizing their 'passion' for the job. It’s not passion; it’s a power grab. You need a reality check: their opinion of your work doesn't affect your paycheck, but their interference definitely affects your sanity. If you keep entertaining their unwarranted authority, you are the one signing the lease on your own stress.
Dealing with colleagues acting like they are in charge is a test of your professional spine. Either you own your role, or they will own it for you. Choose the former.
FAQ
1. How do I tell a coworker to stop bossing me around without being rude?
Focus on your established workflow and direct supervisor. Use phrases like 'I'm following the priorities set by [Manager]' or 'I'll check with [Manager] to see how this fits into my current queue' to redirect their unwarranted authority.
2. Should I report a peer acting like a boss to HR?
First, attempt to resolve it through assertive communication in the office. If the behavior persists and becomes a form of lateral microaggression that hinders your work, document specific instances before approaching your manager or HR.
3. Why do I feel guilty when I stand up to an overstepping coworker?
Social conditioning often makes us prioritize harmony over boundaries. Remember that dealing with colleagues acting like they are in charge requires you to reclaim professional autonomy, which is necessary for your long-term career health.
References
psychologytoday.com — Psychology Today: The Power of Peer Influence
youtube.com — YouTube: How to set boundaries with overstepping coworkers