You Got What You Wanted... So Why Does It Hurt?
It's 10 PM. The celebratory emails have stopped pinging, the champagne bottle from your boss is on the counter, and the house is quiet. You got the promotion, the funding, the lead role, the thing you’ve been chasing for months, maybe years. But instead of a swelling sense of triumph, there’s a strange, hollow echo in your chest. A quiet, cold dread that whispers, 'Now what?'
Let’s just sit with that for a moment. This feeling isn’t ingratitude. It’s not a character flaw. It is a profoundly human, and surprisingly common, response to getting exactly what you want. It’s the emotional whiplash from one of the most jarring parts of the psychology of sudden fame or success: the gap between the fantasy of achievement and the reality of it.
As your emotional anchor, Buddy wants you to hear this: That anxiety you’re feeling is not a sign that you made a mistake. It’s a sign that your nervous system is recalibrating to a new reality. You spent so long in 'striving' mode that 'arriving' mode feels foreign and unsafe. The mental health challenges of success often begin the moment the chase ends, leaving you to face a whole new set of expectations—most critically, the ones you now place on yourself.
The Imposter Pattern: Why Your Brain Thinks You're a Fraud
This feeling of being a fraud has a name: Imposter Syndrome. And our sense-maker, Cory, is here to demystify it. He’d point out that this isn’t a random feeling; it’s a predictable cognitive pattern. Success doesn’t cure imposter syndrome; it often magnifies it. Why?
Because the stakes are now higher. When you were climbing, a misstep was just part of the journey. Now that you’ve 'arrived,' a misstep feels like proof that you never deserved to be here in the first place. This is a core tenet of the psychology of sudden fame—the spotlight, whether literal or metaphorical, makes you feel intensely scrutinized. You start to believe you are one mistake away from being exposed.
According to experts, people experiencing imposter syndrome often attribute their success to external factors like luck, timing, or deceiving others, rather than their own competence. This is a defense mechanism. As Cory explains, 'If you believe your success was a fluke, you don’t have to bear the terrifying weight of recreating it.' The pressure to maintain performance becomes so immense that your brain protects you by refusing to own the initial victory. This isn't a failure; it's a deeply ingrained pattern. Let's give you a permission slip for that.
You have permission to feel uncertain in your new role. Expertise is not a prerequisite for being deserving; it is the outcome of showing up.
Reality Check: They Didn't Hire a Mind-Reader
Let’s get brutally honest for a second. Vix, our realist, would slide a cup of black coffee across the table and say it straight: 'They didn’t promote you because they thought you were a perfect, finished product. They promoted you because they saw potential.'
Your new colleagues, your boss, your investors—they are not waiting for you to fail. That’s a story you’re telling yourself. The fear of success psychology thrives on this self-created narrative of constant judgment. The truth is, people are far too busy with their own anxieties to obsess over yours.
Thinking you have to know everything on day one is not high-achieving; it's a form of professional vanity. The most competent people are the ones who aren't afraid to ask questions. Your silence isn't making you look smart; it's isolating you. The core of the psychology of sudden fame is learning to navigate public (or team) perception, and the most powerful move is to be transparent about your process. Stop performing 'competence' and start practicing it.
How to Own Your Success: An Action Plan
Feelings are valid, but they are not facts. To start internalizing your success, you need a strategy. Our pragmatist, Pavo, believes in turning insight into action. Here is the move to shift from 'feeling like a fraud' to building genuine self-belief.
This isn't about affirmations; it's about evidence. The key to coping with imposter syndrome is to build an objective case for your own competence that your anxious mind cannot refute.
Step 1: Create an 'Evidence Dossier.'
This isn't a 'brag file'; it's a factual record. Every time you receive positive feedback, solve a problem, or hit a metric, log it in a document. When doubt creeps in, you don't argue with your feelings—you review the evidence. The goal is to make your success an objective fact, not a subjective opinion.
Step 2: Re-Anchor Your Identity.
A common issue in the psychology of sudden fame is losing your identity to success. Your job title is what you do, not who you are. Schedule one non-negotiable activity per week that is completely unrelated to your achievement. A pottery class, a hiking group, volunteering. This reminds you that your worth is inherent and distributed, not concentrated in one fragile role.
Step 3: Script Your Deflections.
When someone praises you, the imposter reflex is to say, 'Oh, it was nothing.' This is a verbal tic that reinforces your disbelief. Pavo insists you need a new script. Practice this response: 'Thank you, I’m really proud of how it turned out.' This simple phrase accepts the compliment and validates your own effort in one move. It's a small but powerful way to start owning your accomplishments.
FAQ
1. What is the fear of success called?
While not a formal clinical diagnosis, the 'fear of success' is a recognized psychological concept often linked to success anxiety, self-sabotage, and imposter syndrome. It stems from the belief that achieving a goal will bring negative consequences, such as higher expectations or social rejection.
2. How do I stop feeling like an imposter after a promotion?
To combat imposter syndrome, focus on objective evidence. Keep a log of your accomplishments and positive feedback. Share your feelings with a trusted mentor, and remember that you were promoted based on your potential, not perfection. Practice accepting praise gracefully instead of deflecting it.
3. Why does the psychology of sudden fame also apply to regular jobs?
The 'fame' aspect is metaphorical. The psychology of sudden fame applies to anyone who experiences a rapid shift in status, responsibility, or visibility. A big promotion, a successful startup launch, or becoming a manager can all trigger the same feelings of scrutiny, pressure, and imposter syndrome that celebrities face.
4. Is it normal to feel anxious after achieving a lifelong goal?
Yes, it's very normal. This is sometimes called the 'arrival fallacy'—the mistaken belief that reaching a certain milestone will bring lasting happiness. Often, the structure and purpose provided by 'the chase' are gone, leading to feelings of emptiness and anxiety about what comes next.
References
psychologytoday.com — Impostor Syndrome | Psychology Today