The Haunting Isn't Just in the Movies
It’s not always a monster in the sewer. Sometimes, the haunting is the sudden tightness in your chest when someone raises their voice. It’s the inexplicable wave of anxiety that washes over you on a perfectly sunny Sunday afternoon. It's the reflexive need to apologize for simply existing.
The past isn’t always past. For many, it lives in the body—a ghost that flinches at shadows, a nervous system perpetually braced for an impact that already happened. This experience, often stemming from adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), can feel incredibly isolating. You might wonder why you can't just 'get over it.' This is the first, most compassionate question on the path to understanding how to start healing from childhood trauma.
This isn't about fighting monsters or erasing memories. It's about turning on a gentle light in a dark room. It’s about learning to sit with the parts of you that are still scared, and letting them know they are finally, truly safe. This is a quiet, courageous journey, and you don't have to take the first step alone.
The Ghosts We Carry: How Trauma Rewires Your Brain and Body
Let’s look at the underlying pattern here. That feeling of being haunted isn't a weakness; it's a biological adaptation. Our friend Cory, the sense-maker of our group, helps us reframe this. He’d point out that during traumatic events, the brain's survival wiring—the fight, flight, or freeze response—goes into overdrive. When this happens repeatedly in childhood, the brain can get 'stuck' in that high-alert state.
This is why you might experience what feels like disproportionate reactions to everyday stressors. These are emotional triggers from the past activating an old survival map. As the CDC explains, coping with a traumatic event involves recognizing that these reactions are normal. Things like hypervigilance (always scanning for threats) or emotional numbness aren't character flaws; they are classic CPTSD symptoms rooted in a nervous system that learned it had to be on guard to survive.
Understanding the mechanics behind your feelings is a critical foundation for learning how to start healing from childhood trauma. It shifts the narrative from 'What's wrong with me?' to 'What happened to me, and how did my body intelligently adapt to it?'
So here is your first permission slip from Cory: You have permission to see your reactions not as 'overreactions,' but as the echoes of a nervous system that learned to keep you safe in an unsafe world. It did its job perfectly.
Permission to Grieve: Honoring Your Inner Child's Experience
Now, let’s move from the mind to the heartspace. Our mystic, Luna, encourages us to see this not as a problem to be solved, but as a sacred relationship to be mended—the one with your younger self.
That part of you who went through the hardship still exists within you. In modalities like Internal Family Systems (IFS), this is the concept of an 'exile'—a young part of you holding all the original pain. The journey of healing is about gently, patiently earning its trust. This internal connection is a profound part of how to start healing from childhood trauma.
Luna often uses this symbolic lens: 'Think of this process not as digging up graves, but as tending to a forgotten garden. Some parts are overgrown with weeds of fear, but beneath them, the soil is still fertile. Your job is not to rip out the weeds, but to gently add sunlight and water until the original flowers have room to grow again.'
The trauma recovery journey is not linear. There will be days you feel connected and strong, and others where the grief feels fresh. This is the natural rhythm of healing. The goal isn't to silence that inner child, but to become the compassionate, safe adult they always needed.
The First Step Out of Derry: Safe Practices for Starting Your Healing Journey
Understanding and validation are the fuel, but strategy is the map. This is where our pragmatic expert, Pavo, steps in. She reminds us that while the feelings are complex, the first actions can be simple and concrete. A gentle, structured approach is essential for anyone figuring out how to start healing from childhood trauma without becoming overwhelmed.
Here are the first strategic moves Pavo recommends for creating a trauma-informed life for yourself:
Step 1: Resource Your Present Moment.
Before you look back, anchor yourself firmly in the now. What, in this exact moment, feels even 1% safe or pleasant? Is it the texture of your sweater? The warmth of a cup of tea? The sound of birds outside? This practice isn't about ignoring the pain; it's about building a foundation of safety in your own body so you have a secure place to return to.
Step 2: Practice Gentle Embodiment.
Trauma disconnects us from our bodies. A safe way to reconnect is through a practice like somatic experiencing, which focuses on noticing physical sensations without judgment. Simply ask, 'Where do I feel that anxiety in my body?' Is it a tightness in your stomach? A buzzing in your hands? Just notice. You don't have to fix it. The simple act of noticing is a powerful step in your trauma recovery journey.
Step 3: Assemble Your Team.
No one should have to navigate this alone. Seeking a trauma-informed therapist is not a sign of failure; it’s the move of a brilliant strategist hiring an expert guide. Finding the right professional is a key element in how to start healing from childhood trauma.
Pavo would provide you with a clear script to make this feel less daunting. When you email or call a potential therapist, you can say: 'Hello, I am looking for support in healing from past trauma. I am specifically seeking a therapist who uses a gentle, trauma-informed approach. Could you tell me about your experience in this area?' This positions you as an informed client and helps you find the right fit from the start.
FAQ
1. What is the very first step to healing childhood trauma?
The very first step is acknowledging the impact of your past without judgment and focusing on creating a sense of physical and emotional safety in your present-day life. This creates a stable foundation before delving into deeper emotional work.
2. Can you heal from childhood trauma without therapy?
While self-guided practices like journaling and mindfulness are valuable, professional therapy is highly recommended. A trauma-informed therapist provides a safe, structured environment to process complex emotions and helps prevent re-traumatization.
3. What are common CPTSD symptoms from childhood trauma?
Common symptoms of Complex PTSD (CPTSD) include chronic emotional dysregulation, feelings of worthlessness or shame, difficulties in relationships, hypervigilance, and a persistent sense of being threatened, even when safe.
4. How long does the trauma recovery journey take?
There is no set timeline. Healing is not a destination but a lifelong process of integration and management. The goal is to reduce the distress and impact of trauma on your daily life, and this journey is unique to every individual.
References
cdc.gov — Coping with Traumatic Events