The Pain of Being Dismissed: When They Say 'It's All in Your Head'
Let’s be blunt. The bloating that makes your favorite jeans feel like a medieval torture device, the rage that bubbles up over a misplaced set of keys, the exhaustion that feels like you’re moving through wet cement—it isn’t an exaggeration. It’s not an excuse. It is the lived reality of severe premenstrual syndrome symptoms, and you are not imagining it.
Our reality surgeon, Vix, cuts right through the noise: "They aren’t confused by your pain. They are uncomfortable with it. There’s a difference." When a doctor glances at the clock while you describe debilitating cramps, they are not just being busy. They are participating in a long, ugly history of medical bias against women's health.
This dismissal is a specific kind of psychological wound. It makes you question your own sanity. You start to believe the damaging narrative that your suffering is a character flaw—that you’re just being 'dramatic' or 'too sensitive.' This is the insidious nature of the 'pms is not real myth'; it aims to turn your body’s valid signals into evidence of your emotional instability.
The fact is, women's pain is systematically under-treated and under-researched. Studies from institutions like Harvard Health confirm that women often face longer waits for pain medication and are more likely to have their pain described as 'emotional' or 'psychosomatic.' So no, you’re not crazy. You’re a woman experiencing a well-documented pattern of institutional gaslighting where your very real premenstrual syndrome symptoms are conveniently ignored.
Unpacking the Myths: The Historical Roots of Hormonal Stigma
This feeling of being dismissed has deep, ancient roots. Our mystic, Luna, encourages us to see the bigger picture: "This isn't just your story. It is the echo of a much older one, carried in the body." The modern-day disbelief in the severity of your pain is a direct descendant of the archaic diagnosis of 'female hysteria.'
For centuries, any complex female experience—from anxiety to menstruation-related pain—was bundled under this dismissive label. The history of premenstrual syndrome is not just a medical timeline; it's a social and political one, tangled up in the social stigma of menstruation itself. It was seen as a source of weakness, instability, and even contamination.
When you hear someone ask, 'is pms an excuse?', what you're really hearing is the ghost of that ancient prejudice. You're fighting centuries of ingrained cultural belief that a woman's body is inherently unreliable and that its cycles are a source of disorder rather than a source of life and rhythm.
Examining these PMS myths vs facts isn't just an intellectual exercise. It’s a way of reclaiming your power. It’s understanding that the doubt you face from others is not a reflection of your reality, but a reflection of their inherited biases. Your pain is not a myth, but the dismissal of it is a well-documented historical fact.
Your Self-Advocacy Playbook: How to Demand Better Care
Anger, when channeled, is fuel. It’s time to convert that frustration into strategy. Our social strategist, Pavo, believes in action. "Feeling dismissed is a signal," she says. "It’s a signal to change the game, and you change the game by coming prepared."
When your symptoms are dismissed by doctors, you need a new approach. Advocating for yourself at the doctor is a skill, and here is your playbook.
Step 1: Document Like a Detective
Before your appointment, create a detailed log for at least two cycles. Don't just say 'I feel bad.' Be specific. Track your physical, emotional, and cognitive premenstrual syndrome symptoms. Rate pain on a 1-10 scale. Note which days you missed work or couldn't perform daily tasks. Data is much harder to dismiss than feelings.
Step 2: Master the Opening Statement
Don't wait to be asked. Start the appointment with a clear, confident statement of purpose. Pavo calls this 'The Script.'
> "I am here today specifically to discuss my severe premenstrual syndrome symptoms, which are significantly impacting my quality of life. I have been tracking them for two months, and I have brought my log. I would like to discuss diagnostic options and a treatment plan today."
This script immediately frames the conversation, establishes you as an active participant, and sets a clear agenda. It communicates that you will not be sidetracked.
Step 3: Have Your Questions Ready
Anticipate the brush-off and have your counter-moves prepared. If you are told it's 'just stress,' you can ask:
"What is the clinical basis for ruling out hormonal causes for my symptoms?"
"I'd like it noted in my chart that we discussed these specific symptoms and that the current plan is to take no action."
* "What are the next steps if these symptoms don't improve in the next month?"
This isn't about being confrontational; it's about demonstrating that you are serious and require an equal level of seriousness in return. Debunking PMS myths vs facts starts in that exam room, with you holding your ground.
FAQ
1. Is PMS a real medical condition?
Yes, absolutely. Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) is a recognized medical condition with a clear set of physical and emotional symptoms linked to the menstrual cycle. The belief that 'pms is not real myth' is medically inaccurate and often rooted in historical medical bias against women's health.
2. How do I know if my premenstrual syndrome symptoms are severe enough to see a doctor?
If your symptoms are interfering with your daily life—your work, relationships, or ability to function—they are severe enough to warrant medical attention. If you are experiencing extreme mood swings, depression, or debilitating pain, it is crucial to seek a diagnosis.
3. What is the difference between PMS and PMDD?
Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is a much more severe form of PMS. While PMS symptoms can be distressing, PMDD symptoms are debilitating and include severe depression, anxiety, and irritability that can have a serious impact on a person's life. It is considered a serious medical condition that requires diagnosis and treatment.
4. Why are women's pain symptoms so often dismissed by doctors?
This is a complex issue tied to a long history of medical bias. Research shows women's pain is often taken less seriously, attributed to emotional causes ('hysteria'), and under-treated compared to men's. Advocating for yourself at the doctor is a key strategy to combat this systemic problem.
References
health.harvard.edu — Women and pain: Disparities in experience and treatment
reddit.com — Community Discussion on PMS Myths and Medical Dismissal